The Hi-Jacking of the BCS

And am I the only one that noticed that FOX just semi-got-away-with what can only be called broadcast hi-jacking when it started exclusively broadcasting the BCS championship games in 2007?

Now, when I say “exclusive” I don’t just mean they’re the only network covering those games – I mean those are the only games they cover all season. You know, just the most important ones.

There’s no building up of “equity” in the announcers for the viewers or “continuity” over the course of a season – let’s just run a bunch of ads with a Trojan, a gator, and a giant buckeye chasing a BCS trophy in a Toyota© truck bed. That should get ’em amped.

Published in: on October 4, 2008 at 10:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

Idiot…get your trainer to buy the cocaine.

Below are the ramblings of Sensei Mittens: Brilliant analytical sports editorialist. Racist karate-teaching kitten.

So Travis Henry was arrested.

Are you shocked? I hope not. I’m surprised that he didn’t play for a Cincinnati sports team. The fact that he isn’t buying drugs would shock me more. Maybe that Bengals trade will go through. I hear they do need a running back…

Let’s take a look at the Bengals, shall we? They had 10 players arrested within 14 months.

14 months! That is practically a Bengal-per-month ratio. They should make a calendar of Bengals players’ arrests. But why do so many get arrested?

They play for a team in a city so run down that most players live in a different state altogether. The best part? That state is Kentucky! It is a step up to live in Kentucky instead of Cincinnati!

Kentucky has the fewest teeth per capita of any state in the union, and lets retarded children design their license plates. Their basketball team under-performs, their football team sucks, and their only reason to cheer of late is the fact that Rick Pitino failed as a professional coach.

But back to Travis Henry.

(It’s so good once it hits your lips)

So he gets caught trying to buy cocaine in Montana from a police informant. So many questions arise from this.

1. What is a black guy doing in Montana?
2. What is a black guy doing buying cocaine in Montana? Has he not seen Scarface?
3. There is a black guy who has not seen Scarface?

While these questions linger, the answer seems obvious:

Henry used to get his cocaine from J.P. Losman in Buffalo. But now that Losman rides the bench, he’s keeping it all to do his own lines on the sidelines during games that the Bills are now winning no thanks to him. Make sense? it should.

Published in: on October 3, 2008 at 4:59 am  Leave a Comment  

Is anyone alive out there?!! Can anyone hear me?!!

I hate conspiracy theorists but can we stop and question something for a moment here: Why do the Colts and Patriots play each other every year? . . . Anyone? . . . . No? . . . Well I did the research – here’s the link: – and they do.

Now, we know that NFL scheduling – with one noteworthy exception – goes as follows: you play every team in your division twice, you exhaustively play some other division (changing every year), and then you’re handed a few other teams at random. . . yet the Patriots and Colts have played each other every year since 2003.
Of course, we know this is all about the NFL’s cabbage – I’m just saying that if I were a fan of either of these teams, I’d be pissed. In an incredibly competitive league where that one extra loss can cost you all-important home-field advantage in a playoff game, it matters. How would Yankees and Red Sox fans feel if Bud Selig suddenly said that those teams – two reliably good ones – were going to face each other twice as often each year while the Orioles, Rays, and Blue Jays slugged it out? Rick Adelman”s 2002 Sacramento Kings Western Conference Finals squad thinks the Colts and Pats are getting jobbed . . .

Published in: on October 2, 2008 at 3:53 am  Leave a Comment